Why do they tell me so little so late? and other Parental Grumblings

My husband and I are more or less perpetual adolescents, so this adult thing is alien territory for us.  Hell, cooking and cleaning is alien territory for us.  Cooking and cleaning with a one year old is Area 51.


We were so pleased with ourselves that we didn’t fall into the early feeding craze.  We didn’t start solids until 6 months, breastfed him consistently, made sure that milk was the primary source of his nutrition (didn’t want him to miss any of those antibodies floating around in the liquid gold).  How come no one told us that at one year, he was supposed to be “off the bottle”? The doctor informed me of this last week when I brought him in to check on his chronic ear infection issue (so much for those antibodies). 

So I have two weeks to wean him off the bottle, and it ain’t going so well.  The apple couldn’t fall farther . . . our little guy hates food. Seals his lips like they’re super-glued, shakes his round little head in a vigorous “no way,” and pushes the spoon away.  Being the cool, laidback, independence-fostering mom I am, I don't force the experience. I put the food in front of him and let him have at it. Now, cleaning is not my piano-forte, but even I know oatmeal and fruit shouldn’t be smeared all over the kitchen wall!  Thank God for the canine cleaning crew; they gather round the high chair waiting for the inevitable barrage of treats to be slung to the floor.

I keep reading these mommy blogs and forums from frantic mothers strapping their kids down and force-feeding through tantrums (can’t tell whose—parent or child). But you know me,  I’m above such nonsense.

Well, I’ll be damned if my little one isn't having so much fun with his food that he is pretty much doing everything BUT eating it.  And since I recently quit breastfeeding, he has just developed a new love affair with the “ba ba.” Despite all my enlightened parenting, we’re back to Square One.  In fact, the little fiend is consuming more milk than ever. As for my laissez-faire approach to feeding, I now hear that mothers in some cultures don’t let babies self-feed at all in an effort to preserve food.  To allow self-feeding is anything but responsible parenting, much less responsible citizenship. 

Geez Louise, when will I get it right? Oh well, in the meantime I’m saving money on one thing at least: dog food.